My Disabled Child Is Still A Child
My Disabled Child Is Still A Child
— Read on faithmummy.wordpress.com/2019/01/04/my-disabled-child-is-still-a-child/
What Is Your Purpose In Life?
I remember when my husband and I first moved to Idaho to follow the Lord, the second sermon our pastor gave was, Do You Know Your Purpose In Life? As I sat there listening, tears were burning in my eyes. I had no idea what my purpose was. As I was leaving the sanctuary, my eyes swollen from crying, I said to the pastor, “I don’t believe I have a purpose.” He embraced me gently and whispered in my ear, “We all have a purpose. You need to focus on God and ask Him.” For years I would ask myself, “What are my talents? What do I want to be? Where do I see myself five, ten, twenty years from now?” I wanted to be a singer, an actress, a teacher, a writer, a motivational speaker, a businesswoman. I took the direction of a teacher since that just felt natural. From the time I was a young girl, I would often come home from school, line up all my stuffed animals and dolls and play school, so it was no surprise to my family that I chose special education as a career right out of high school. But I felt there was more. After thirty years working with the special needs population, I wanted something more. Again I began to ask myself, “What do I want to do? What are my gifts? What is my purpose?” I soon learned that focusing on myself would never reveal my life’s purpose. “In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind”~ Job 12:10. I remember reading Rick Warren’s book, “The Purpose Driven Life” years ago. I recall a passage that said, I was made by God for God. Only God knows what He designed me for. It was time to turn my attention to the Original Owners Manual, The Bible. I found Ephesians 1:11-12 that says, “In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will, in order that we who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of His glory.” (NIV). That verse made me realize that I WAS created for a reason. I wasn’t an accident. God did give me a special gift and I had been doing it from the time I was a child. I referenced the bible once again and discovered Proverbs 22:6 “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” I pondered the question, “How many students have I made a difference in their life/ future? I will never really know the answer, but that really isn’t the question I should be asking. How many students have made a difference in my life/future?” The answer of course is, all of them.
Years have gone by since the days of teaching in public schools with students having special needs. I have grown and matured in God, and now my focus is to help people understand God’s purpose in their lives. I still enjoy teaching and work in a private school. I have taught a children’s bible study group in our church and enjoy bringing Bible stories to life for the younger ones that are just beginning their journey. I give all the glory to God for shedding light on the true gift He’d blessed me with so many years ago. A gift I took for granted because it came so natural to me, that I never realized just how I had made a difference in the life of a child.
Dear Younger Me
One of my favorite Christian songs is, “Dear Younger Me” by Mercy Me. For those of us over the age of 50, I’m confident enough to say that at least once in our life we’ve looked back and said, “If I knew then what I know now.” Or, “I wish I’d never done _____.”
I bring this up because I was speaking with an 18-year-old co-worker this morning. This young woman already knows what she wants to do as a career and is focused on her goals and how she will get there. Another co-worker is a beautiful 24-year old woman who is planning for her future, including retirement! She tells me of her plans, and how she intends on how she will reach her goals and by what age.
Looking back on my life, from the age of 15-24, all I cared about was partying. I knew I wanted to be a special education teacher, but my self-esteem was so far down in the gutter that I didn’t believe in myself. Unfortunately, I can’t go back and undo the past but what I genuinely pray I can do, is reach young girls before they head down that path and may never return.
There is something else that unfortunately is rather uncommon today. Both my two co-workers grew up in Christian homes with both parents that were educated and raised their daughters to be educated and independent thinkers.
If I could go back and talk to my younger self, I would want to encourage me to seek out the Lord. Attend a church, ask questions, get involved in a youth group and make Christian friends that would be supportive. I’m sad for children that have never attended a church or have learned about the Bible or our Lord Jesus Christ. Though my mother never attended church with me, it was mandatory in our house that my sister and I attended until we were at least 16 years old. She believed that it was part of being educated. I am so grateful to her for making me go (even though I resented going ). After my mother died I went through several years where I was so angry at God for taking her that I denied His existence (I never really doubted His presence but I was angry and hurt. He also had taken my dad when I was only a year old. I began to feel as though God didn’t care about me so I decided I didn’t need him anymore. I would make it just fine on my own. I can honestly tell you, that didn’t turn out so well.
Now, in my golden years, I feel so blessed to be a member of a church that emphasizes reaching children and teens through a sports program, youth groups, bible study classes, and community service programs. As the population ages, it’s necessary to reach as many families as we possibly can. As Christians, Christ has called upon his followers to be disciples. That is what I’m striving to become.